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高手如云啊.

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  • 工作学习 / 外语学习 / How I Fell in Love with English (3)
    本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I lived in a archetypical “unit” – a factory compound made up of a manufacturing area, a pharmacy, a daycare, a dinning canteen, a basketball court, residential buildings and a number of cement ping pong tables strewn all over the compound. In comparison to affluent hospital unit, university unit and military unit, my unit was deemed as part of a slum in the city. Most of kids from my unit were dumped into the junior high school I went to.


    Life within the compound was simple and fun as no family was really rich and there was no such thing as “privacy” when everybody knew everybody. The familiarity with one another at home made it easier for students to gang up quickly at school.


    In a gang clash, confronting sides would vigorously exchange mocking, intimidating and bluffing obscenities. Normally, a third gang or an influential individual would be invited to step in and diplomatically talk both sides into backing off. Therefore, those gang fights never made me worried as long as there was a prospect that a mediator was arranged. Along with other gang members, some clapping bricks, some brandishing home-made iron chains and some waving clubs, I did everything I was supposed to do - glaring, yelling, cursing, threatening, posing, but with one foot turning the other way ready to bolt if the situation turned violent. I would excuse myself from a fight if I sensed there were no mediation possible, for I knew, with testosterone running high on both sides, there always happened to be an idiot who, against everyone else’ wish,would escalate the fight and eventually send someone into hospital.


    Not for long, my gang abandoned me. Once disowned, I was also quite undesirable to other gangs. I had become unaffiliated through the rest of the junior high years, lonely and disoriented. And sometimes, I missed Two Bars and had wondered what she was doing. I found myself studying English again.


    Maybe it was because I was among a few who knew what English was all about and even could make some odd sounds, I was chosen as the liaison for my English teacher, in charge of collecting English homework and leading morning English reading. I had to admit that I had to fight a strong urge to throw chalks at anyone who dared to snore in my presence, only stopped by a fact that virtually the whole class was at various stages of daydreaming.


    At the end of first year in my junior high school, even to my own astonishment, my exam scores were the highest, not only in my class, but also in the entire grade. All of sudden, I became an emblem of good students and all kinds of doors were open to me. I was a celebrity in the school and invited to join all clubs, both curricular and extracurricular.


    I was thriving and blooming and I enjoyed it.


    Now I had a reputation to live up to and I had to maintain this expectation. I ramped up my efforts in study and extracurricular activities. It wasn’t long before honour certificates covered all over the walls in my room, trophies cluttered on my table. My parents looked several inches taller when talking to someone about me. My confidence and ego were fully restored and boosted to a new high.


    It was in the second year of junior high, there was one girl attracted my attention and I found my taste had changed. I tended to gravitate towards “bad girls”. This girl was wild, the kind that all teachers frowned upon and other girls despised on mere mentioning of her name, but she was a magnet for boys. She defied all school’s orders on dress code – she let her hair loose cascading over her shoulders; wore a bright orange jacket smuggled from Hong Kong that made her particularly gorgeous in a blue and gray world and a slinky white pants that wrapped her curvy buttock and legs tautly and abruptly loosened up at her ankles like two upside down calla lilies. Nasty things and lewd cartoons about her were knife-carved on the desks and drawn on walls in the toilet. Rumours had it that she had done “that thing” with a number of boys, both inside the school and from outside. I did not believe any of those rumours. On the contrary, it only made her all the more mystifying to me.


    I wanted to have “that thing” with her despite her reputation.


    But we were living in different worlds. We never really talked and I did not even know where to start to get closer to her. Then a brilliant plan came to my mind. It sounded a bit far-fetched, but not entirely unreasonable. The idea was I volunteered to help her with her English like what Two Bars did to me, as I was the leader of the school’s English Club, it would be natural for me to approach her from that angle. To make the plan an official one, I went to my teacher’s office to get an approval which I did not really need.


    “I would like to get all the students interested in English study, eventually, get some of them into my club.” I suggested in a casual tone I could possibly manage.


    My teacher was surprised. “Are you sure you could handle the workload? It may affect your academic performance.” He looked little concerned, not sure what significance it might have.


    “I would like to start from Qinghong Zhang. If I could make her pick up the book again, I could motivate others.” I said resolutely.


    “Who? I don’t think this is a good idea. She is a nutcase, are you sure you want to do this?” He said incredulously. But he must have seen some kind of bright ring over my head because I saw moisture in his eyes.


    “I will pull out if I find it useless, besides no harm in trying. We should not leave any students behind.” I pressed on, pushing him into a corner.


    “Ok, two weeks, on trial basis. Don’t put too much time into this.” He probably thought I was crazy, but I didn’t care for I already flew out of his office.


    One day, an opportunity that I could be with her alone finally presented itself when she wasn’t surrounded by boys. After making sure l looked calm and official, I sidled up to her desk when she was grimacing at a small mirror in her palm, suppressing excitement and patting myself on the back for finding such a genius way to near her.


    “Our teacher asked me to help you with your English study, I understand...” I started my little plan with the official excuse.


    She scowled at me in surprise as if I was speaking Greek, and then gave me a what-the-fuck-do-you-know-about-life look. Without waiting for me to finish my well-rehearsed statement, she nosily crammed her stuffs into a bag, stood up, flung the bag on her shoulder, brushed me aside on her way out.


    For all the scenarios I have prepared and practised, I did not anticipate this. “That is...cool.” I muttered.


    She did not look back and that was the last time I saw her. I heard she dropped out and ran away with some guys.


    I had nothing else to do but studying since then. And I lost interest in girls. Half of the girls in class were from suburban families who were supplying fruits and vegetables to the city. Because of their duties in the field, their hairs were always unkempt, cheeks chubby from over exposure to the sun, clothes reeks of fresh earth and garlic; the other half of the girls were violent and foul-mouthed, using “fuck” in all their sentences. I still prefer neat, clean, decent city girls.


    Time was flying, before I knew it, I was in grade three in senior high.


    In that spring, I led a team to participate in an English contest organized by the municipal Education Bureau. Out of 256 contestants from 31 schools, I ranked number 251. Rankings from 252 to 256 were also from my school. This contest alone had shattered my newly restored confidence, kicked me down to a new low and made me realize how suck my school was. There were only two ways to get out of the school: one was to take entrance exams of senior high schools and get myself accepted by a different school; one was to bribe someone to transfer to a desired school.


    To transfer to a different school in the mid of the term, I need both consent from the municipal Education Bureau and the receiving school. My family tried bribery on my behalf. I remembered all my family could come up with for bribery were two bars of cigarettes and two tins of canned fruits. My mother and father even debated bribery strategies: to bribe someone who was the most critical and capable of pulling some strings on our behalf verses to split bribery resources evenly between someone from the Education Bureau and someone in accepting school. The first option made more sense.


    Next step of bribery was to find out whom to bribe, which was also the most difficult one. My father was basically useless in this regard; the task naturally fell on my mother’s shoulder. She was so amazing that she was able to contact someone in the factory whose niece was working in the same unit with someone whose father had went to war together with someone whose son was working in the Education Bureau and who knew someone... We did not know where our bribery ended up eventually along this connection chain; it did not help me at all. My father and mother were so enraged that they even discussed how to trace and recover bribery fortune for a long time.


    To the delight of my parents, I managed to go to a decent senior high.


    Looking back now, I’d say those years in junior high were indeed my most glorious days which had forever shaped my life afterwards.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • SF。等你半天了。
      • nice new jacket~
        • ?
          • 我猜错了,不是小溪改的名儿?
            • 新昵称吧?
        • 华丽不?
          • 华丽且睿智,keeping a low profile without being 矫情,好!
      • Sorry keep you waiting. Your enjoyment is my motivation to write. Thank you.
        • I checked out again your (2) last night, fun to read again. I do enjoy it but may not be as sensitive when I comment as to match up your expectation. my english is all practical, very much. our sets of vocabulary are quite different. Fun to know though.
          • 同感。fun to read, fun to know
            • 饱了?
              • 又要开饭啦。 长铗归来乎?食无鹿肉!
      • 一口气读完。十分鲜活。我要融入到这个“我”里面了。很有趣。又接着等了。
    • As always, Eric's refined English writting deserves a round of applause. This time,for some reason, I didn't get a lot of laugh I usually could expect with reading his
      materials, but that".....she was able to contact someone in the factory whose niece was working in the same unit with someone whose father had went to war together with someone whose son was working in the Education Bureau and....." was truly a memory refresher leading to a bitter smile...looking forward to part 4
      • I have dug up a lot of dirt, haven’t I? Tuning in in 4 :)
    • 总体不错. 转兵哥阅. 请不要吹毛求疵.
      • 吹毛求疵 is ok, that is why I post my story here. Everything I wrote is up for debate. Any comments are welcome here.
        吹毛求疵
        • 好像是三线工厂的子弟?
          • Yes. keep digging.
            • 好吧, 三线厂一般在贵州, 四川, 陕南, 湘西等地.
              • Getting close.
                • 十三省区, 让我怎么猜呀?
                  三线建设的范围包括西南三省(四川、云南、贵州,含今重庆)、西北三省(陕西、青海、甘肃乌鞘岭以东)、以及京广线以西的河北、河南、湖北、湖南的部分,以及广西的河池地区和山西雁门关以南等省自治区。
                  • Wait for (4)
                    • Can't wait..
              • Sounds 陕南to me~
      • 相当不错。一两个小疵还是吹了半天毛才发现的。
        • 所以说学无止境吗.
        • 一两个小疵还是吹了半天毛才发现的。 --- what? The first "a" should be "an"? I lived in an archetypical xxxx
          • Good morning newbie.
            • newbie 可畏啊,羞得俺无地自容。
              • 感觉你有点假,就给你开个玩笑了。早上好!!!
            • Good morning snob.
              • A snob
                is someone who believes that some people are inherently inferior to him or her for any one of a variety of reasons, including real or supposed intellect, wealth, education, ancestry, taste, beauty, nationality, etcetera. Often, the form of snobbery reflects the snob's personal attributes. For example, a common snobbery of the affluent is the belief that wealth is either the cause or result of superiority, or both...
                • I simply call you (and -wincity(红卫兵)) sn00bs, or rickhies.
                  • 几乎每个人都知道那是个冠词错误, 然而每个人都欣赏eric的努力和对这个栏目的支持. 说三道四的有, 但毕竟只是极少数.
                    • Just a joke, you cannot be serious, Boss!
                      • A real black humor. Hahaha.
              • A newbie
                is a slang term for a novice or newcomer, or somebody inexperienced in any profession or activity. Contemporary use can particularly refer to a beginner or new user of computers, often concerning Internet activity, such as online gaming[1] or Linux use.[2][3] It can have derogatory connotations, but is also often used for descriptive purposes only, without a value judgment...
                • I am happy with it.. you? rickhies
    • 咱板凳先坐好,慢慢看。。。
    • Eric, your writing is as fluid as ever but I have to admit I did not enjoy reading this piece as much as the previous ones. There should always be a light of hope in a dark and depressing story.
      • I may have focused too much on twists and turns of the events, unintentionally leaving it “darker” than previous episodes. I will see if I can “brighten up” in (4). Chance is good since “I” would be in a good junior high.
        • I’m not criticizing your writing skill. The story presents itself to be a tragedy. The dark background carried over from part 1 to part 3. It’s just there was always something bright and beautiful shone through the darkness in the first 2 episodes
          that gave the readers warmth and hope. I did not see it in part 3. Without it the story would become a remote and twisted dream that is irrelevant to today’s audience. Just my 2 cents. BTW, you indeed have a large vocabulary that I had to go back to dictionaries to check out a few words.
    • Excuse my poor English
      I find a bit difficult to understand the context after skimming because of some unfamiliar words. It may include some GRE vocabularies. I guess this article could be perfect if I assume it as a part of the novel. If it is just experience sharing, I would prefer simple English.

      My English professor ever introduced me an English essay "Mother Tongue" by Amy Tan in my English literature course. Why is the "Broken English" so easy to understand?

      In my point of view, language is a tool of communication for daily life. The greatest part in English writing is to write with one's authentic feelings and affection. True expressions from the bottom of the heart and simple words to move the readers.

      Just my 2 cents.
      • Eric 用词很恰如其分的,你不懂,说明你的词汇量不够。
        • 我已经说了是我的英语问题。但是如果是学习交流,可以稍微简单y点. I ever read Randy Pausch's the Last Lecture and Hillary's Living History. I find it is relatively easier reading those two books.
          • 我要支持一下兵哥的(部分)观点了。ERIC的用词,我个人看是PRECISE的。他有意的用了TWISTS和TURNS,他自己都提到的。这些TWISTS和TURNS和简单是两个SIDE。他的INTENT决定了他没有"简单“的目的。是不是”可以“简单,看读者了。
          • 这个正常。看美国总统的竞选演说和读畅销书,你很少会看到生僻词。因为它们的目的就是让读者理解,看懂。学语言和学思维,两者还是不同的
      • 我非常同意你...写故事,写书都是为了让读者易懂,不是law document, 要precise,还有最好你不懂. LZ喜欢用big word on a simple story, 读起来很凹口, take away the enjoyment of reading a good story.
        • 写英文使用高级词汇一点也不难,一本厚点的汉英辞典就足够了。文章要有可读性并吸引人,最终还要靠内容和表达方式。
    • 写的很好,既然是英语论坛,那我就求疵一下吧。
      I lived in a archetypical 《== an archetypical
      never made me worried <== never made me worry
      prospect that a mediator was arranged <== were arranged (or were to be arranged)
      only stopped by a fact <== only stopped short by the fact
      there was one girl attracted my attention <-- one girl who attracted my atention
      on walls in the toilet <== on wall in the washroom (or above/over the toilet)
      Who? I don’t think <== Whom? (i would use whom since he is asking whom you are trying to help)
      bright ring over my head <== bright aura
      because I saw moisture in his eyes <== not sure what you mean here, he was about to cry? and from there, you deduced that he must have seen a bright glowing aura over your head?
      cheeks chubby from over exposure to the sun <== not sure why cheeks would be plump from over exposure to the sun
      I still prefer neat, clean <== preferred
      trace and recover bribery fortune <== trace and recover some of the bribes

      final comment, felt like reading a porn at times.
      • 高手如云啊.
        • 不要有危机感吗。 一起学习,一起进步吗
          • 现在的状况很健康
            • 看来 eric 下回要 proof read a few more times 了.
              • 一起学习,一起进步
                • 我是个移民,有着永远的差别。我追求思想和思维的交流。永远的差别导致我交流的质量,这是我作为非原住民的缺陷。但我却有着一口流利的母语和我同胞交流。无憾。
                  • V8
      • 错误不止这些。
        • 高手如云啊. -wincity(红卫兵); 12:17 (#7268429@0)
        • You don't give up, do you? My description of you still stands. I tried to ignore you and you are like a cockroach, keep popping up. Now, you are truly obnoxious and disturbed.
          • Too bad for you. U don't own this place. 几句评价都架不住,立马原形毕露。
      • Very good. Plus some thoughts.
        本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛I lived in a archetypical 《== an archetypical
        Eric: Good

        never made me worried <== never made me worry
        Eric: never made me worried/touched/happy/sad;
        eg: "You got/made me worried!", but your version is also fine. Use it as noun, worry about and other variations are also fine.

        prospect that a mediator was arranged <== were arranged (or were to be arranged)
        Eric: Good. "were arranged" is an error, "were to be arranged" is excellent.

        only stopped by a fact <== only stopped short by the fact
        Eric: both are acceptable.

        there was one girl attracted my attention <-- one girl who attracted my attention
        Eric: “who” is optional. If the relative pronoun is followed by a subject noun or pronoun – I, we, he, she, they – then that or who must be the object and it can be deleted.
        Eg. The guy [who/whom] Jack sold the car to is angry. (Can delete who.)

        on walls in the toilet <== on wall in the washroom (or above/over the toilet)
        Eric: In north America toilet/washroom/powder room can be the same place. I think toilet is preferable in the story. "above/over the toilet" is not suitable here.

        Who? I don’t think <== Whom? (i would use whom since he is asking whom you are trying to help)
        Eric: No one speaks that way. More and more people are replacing “whom” with “who”.

        bright ring over my head <== bright aura
        Eric: Halo Christian Symbol should be “ring”, not “aura”, because all saints have rings/circles over their heads. But you have raised an excellent point - sometimes, it is misleading when using English in writing a Chinese story.

        because I saw moisture in his eyes <== not sure what you mean here, he was about to cry? and from there, you deduced that he must have seen a bright glowing aura over your head?
        Eric: See above. Intended meaning is he was touched. It is "moisture" not "tears". "moisture" can be imaginary.

        cheeks chubby from over exposure to the sun <== not sure why cheeks would be plump from over exposure to the sun
        Eric: Good point. “chubby” is not vivid enough to describe an apple-type face.

        I still prefer neat, clean <== preferred
        Eric: Good.

        trace and recover bribery fortune <== trace and recover some of the bribes
        Eric: In the story, the bribe was given to one person. You either recover all or lose all of it. "Fortune" has a purpose there.

        final comment, felt like reading a porn at times.
        Eric: Which part is porn?更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
    • A few insignificant and friendly comments.
      "He looked little concerned, not sure what significance it might have." Do you really mean " He looked a little concerned"

      "suppressing excitement and patting myself on the back for finding such a genius way to near her" - " way to get near her"

      "kicked me down to a new low and made me realize how suck my school was. " - " realize how my school sucked"