本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another. --- Gottfried Wilhelm Van Lubreitz
爱就是只要别人幸福快乐，我们就幸福快乐！ ——高特福瑞德·威廉·范·卢伯瑞兹
The Scorecard 婚姻不需要记分卡（弗兰克速成英语提供：416-838-6696）
To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another. --- Gottfried Wilhelm Van Lubreitz
爱就是只要别人幸福快乐，我们就幸福快乐！ ——高特福瑞德·威廉·范·卢伯瑞兹
As the movie came to an end the room filled with chatter. The warm fire, twinkling Christmas lights and laughter from family brought a contented smile to my face. The minute Mom said, "Who wants..."the room emptied quicker than the stands at a losing football game.
My boyfriend Todd and I were the only ones left. With a bewildered look on his face he asked me what just happened. Catching the laughter on my mom's face, I said to Todd," We are going to go put gas in my mom's car."
He quickly replied, "It's freezing out there, and it's almost 11:30 P.M." Smiling, I said, " Then you had better your coat and gloves."
After hurriedly chipping the frost off the windshield, we bundled into the car. On the way to the gas station, Todd asked me to explain why in the world we were going to get my mom gas so late at night. Chuckling, I said, " When my siblings and I come home for the holidays, we help my dad get gas for my mom. It has turned into a game with all of us. We can tell when my mom is going to ask and the last one in the room has to go."
"You have got to be kidding me!" Todd responded.
"There is no getting out of it," I said.
While pumping the gas, we clapped our hands and jumped around to stay warm. " I still don't get it. Why doesn't your mom put the gas in the car herself? "Todd asked.
With mirth in my eyes, I said," I know it sounds insane, but let me explain. My mom has not pumped gas in over two decades. My dad always pumps gas for her." With a confused look, Todd asked if my dad was ever annoyed with having to pump gas for his wife all the time. Shaking my head, I simply said," No, he has never complained."
"That's crazy,"Todd quickly replied.
"No, not really," I explained patiently. " When I came home for the holidays my sophomore' year of college, I thought I knew everything. I was on this big female independence kick. One evening, my mom and I were wrapping presents, and I told her that when I got married, my husband was going to help clean, do laundry, cook, the whole bit. Then I asked her if she ever got tired of doing the laundry and dishes. She calmly told me it did not bother her. This was difficult for me to believe. I began to give her a lecture about this being the '90s,and equality between the sexes."
"Mom listened patiently. Then after setting the ribbon aside, she looked me square in the eyes. ' Someday, dear, you will understand.'"
"This only irritated me more. I didn't understand one bit. And so I demanded more of an explanation. Mom smiled, and began to explain:
"'In a marriage, there are some things you like to do and some things you don't. So, together, you figure out what little things you are willing to do for each other. You share the responsibilities. I really don't mind doing the laundry. Sure, it takes some time, but it is something I do for your dad. On the other hand, I do not like to pump gas. The smell of the fumes bothers me. And I don't like to stand out in the freezing cold. So, your dad always puts gas in my car. Your dad grocery shops, and I cook. Your dad mows the grass, and I clean. I could go on and on.'"
"'You see,' my mother continued, 'in marriage, there is no scorecard. You do little things for each other to make the other's life easier. If you think of it as helping the person you love, you don't become annoyed with doing the laundry or cooking, or any task, because you're doing it out of love.'"
"Over the years, I have often reflected on what my mom said. She has a great perspective on marriage. I like how my mom and dad take care of each other. And you know what? One day, when I'm married, I don't want to have a scorecard either."
Todd was unusually quiet the rest of the way home. After he shut off the engine, he turned to me and took my hands in his with a warm smile and a twinkle in his eye.
"Anytime you want," he said in a soft voice, " I'll pump gas for you."
电影结束后，大家开始天南海北地闲聊起来。看着温暖的炉火和闪闪烁烁的圣诞节彩灯，听着家人们的欢声笑语，我不禁惬意地微笑着。这时，妈妈突然说："你们有谁想……"她的话还没说完，房间里立刻就变得空空荡荡的，简直比足球比赛踢输了时的体育场看台空得还快。
房间里只剩下我和我的男友托德了。他一脸迷惑地问我刚才发生了什么事。看着妈妈脸上的笑容，我对托德说："我们要去为妈妈的汽车加油了。"
他立刻惊叫起来："现在外面天寒地冻的，而且都已经是夜里11:30了啊！"我微笑着说："那你最好穿上外套，戴上手套吧。"
我们三下五除二地刮掉汽车挡风玻璃上的霜冻，然后就迫不及待地钻进汽车里。在前往加油站的路上，托德好奇地问我，这么晚了，我们还要去给妈妈的汽车加油，究竟是为什么呢？我吃吃地的笑道："每逢我和我的兄弟姐妹们回家过节的时候，我们都要替爸爸为妈妈的汽车加油。后来，这就变成了我们之间的一个游戏了。其实，我们都知道妈妈会在什么时候问我们，但是，最后还待在房间里的那个人，就必须要去为妈妈的汽车加油了。"
"你不会是在骗我吧？"托德问道。
"真的，我没骗你，"我说。
在给汽车加油的时候，我们俩搓着手，蹦过来跳过去地取暖。"我还是不明白，为什么你妈妈不自己来加油呢？"托德追问道。
我笑着说："我知道这听起来确实有点儿不可思议，但是你听过我的解释就明白了。我妈妈自己不去加油都已经20年了。这20年来，一直都是我爸爸在为她的汽车加油。"托德疑惑地看着我问道，我爸爸是否对总要去给妈妈的汽车加油感到烦恼了呢？我连忙摇摇头，简短地说："没有，他从没有抱怨过。"
"哦，那真是不可思议！"托德还是不相信。
"不，一点儿也不，"我耐心地向他解释道，"记得在我大学二年级那年回家度假的时候，我自认为已经无所不知了，尤其是对于男女的不平等的现象可谓是深恶痛绝。有天晚上，我和妈妈正在包裹礼物，我对妈妈说，将来我结婚以后，我一定要让我的丈夫帮着做家务，什么打扫卫生啦、洗熨衣物啦、做饭啦，等等。接着，我问妈妈是否对整日洗熨衣物、刷锅洗碗感到厌倦，她却平静地对我说她从来都没有感到厌烦。这简直让我难以置信。于是，我开始向她大谈特谈什么如今已是20世纪90年代了，什么两性平等啦等等。"
"妈妈耐心地听着我高谈阔论。在礼物的包裹上系上丝带，然后她注视着我的眼睛说：'亲爱的，将来你会明白的。'"
"这不禁令我非常生气。我一点儿也不明白！于是，我要求妈妈为我进一步做些解释。妈妈笑着解释道：
"'在婚姻生活中，总有些事情是你喜欢做的，有些是你不喜欢做的。因此，夫妻二人一定要互相交流，看看有哪些事情是你愿意为对方做的。此外，夫妻二人要共同分担责任。我真的从来都没有在意过洗熨衣物等家务事。当然，做这些琐事确实花了我不少时间，但是，这是为你爸爸做的。反过来说，我不喜欢去给汽车加油，那种难闻的味道着实让我难以承受，而且我也不喜欢站在寒冷的车外等着加油。所以，总是你爸爸去为我的汽车加油。还有，你爸爸负责到杂货店买东西，我负责做饭；你爸爸负责割草，而我就负责清理。当然，还有很多这样的事。'"
"'你知道吗？'妈妈继续语重心长地说，'在婚姻生活中，是不需要计分卡的。夫妻二人各自为对方做了一些力所能及的事可以让彼此的生活更加舒适，更加从容。只要你想到这是帮你的爱人做的，你就不会再在意这些洗熨衣物、烧菜做饭等等家务事，或是其他的一些事情，因为你这么做完全是因为爱啊！'"
"这么多年来，我一直都在思考着妈妈说过的那些话。关于婚姻生活，她的观点确实非常有意义。我喜欢妈妈和爸爸的这种互相关怀，互相照顾的方式。你知道吗，托德，将来我结婚以后，我也不想在夫妻之间有计分卡?quot;
在回家的路上，托德显得异乎寻常地安静。回到家后，托德熄灭了发动机，转过身，抓住我的双手，他的脸上洋溢着温柔的笑容，眼睛里闪烁着激动的光彩。
"只要你愿意，"他温柔地说，"我愿意永远为你加油！"更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
爱就是只要别人幸福快乐，我们就幸福快乐！ ——高特福瑞德·威廉·范·卢伯瑞兹
The Scorecard 婚姻不需要记分卡（弗兰克速成英语提供：416-838-6696）
To love is to place our happiness in the happiness of another. --- Gottfried Wilhelm Van Lubreitz
爱就是只要别人幸福快乐，我们就幸福快乐！ ——高特福瑞德·威廉·范·卢伯瑞兹
As the movie came to an end the room filled with chatter. The warm fire, twinkling Christmas lights and laughter from family brought a contented smile to my face. The minute Mom said, "Who wants..."the room emptied quicker than the stands at a losing football game.
My boyfriend Todd and I were the only ones left. With a bewildered look on his face he asked me what just happened. Catching the laughter on my mom's face, I said to Todd," We are going to go put gas in my mom's car."
He quickly replied, "It's freezing out there, and it's almost 11:30 P.M." Smiling, I said, " Then you had better your coat and gloves."
After hurriedly chipping the frost off the windshield, we bundled into the car. On the way to the gas station, Todd asked me to explain why in the world we were going to get my mom gas so late at night. Chuckling, I said, " When my siblings and I come home for the holidays, we help my dad get gas for my mom. It has turned into a game with all of us. We can tell when my mom is going to ask and the last one in the room has to go."
"You have got to be kidding me!" Todd responded.
"There is no getting out of it," I said.
While pumping the gas, we clapped our hands and jumped around to stay warm. " I still don't get it. Why doesn't your mom put the gas in the car herself? "Todd asked.
With mirth in my eyes, I said," I know it sounds insane, but let me explain. My mom has not pumped gas in over two decades. My dad always pumps gas for her." With a confused look, Todd asked if my dad was ever annoyed with having to pump gas for his wife all the time. Shaking my head, I simply said," No, he has never complained."
"That's crazy,"Todd quickly replied.
"No, not really," I explained patiently. " When I came home for the holidays my sophomore' year of college, I thought I knew everything. I was on this big female independence kick. One evening, my mom and I were wrapping presents, and I told her that when I got married, my husband was going to help clean, do laundry, cook, the whole bit. Then I asked her if she ever got tired of doing the laundry and dishes. She calmly told me it did not bother her. This was difficult for me to believe. I began to give her a lecture about this being the '90s,and equality between the sexes."
"Mom listened patiently. Then after setting the ribbon aside, she looked me square in the eyes. ' Someday, dear, you will understand.'"
"This only irritated me more. I didn't understand one bit. And so I demanded more of an explanation. Mom smiled, and began to explain:
"'In a marriage, there are some things you like to do and some things you don't. So, together, you figure out what little things you are willing to do for each other. You share the responsibilities. I really don't mind doing the laundry. Sure, it takes some time, but it is something I do for your dad. On the other hand, I do not like to pump gas. The smell of the fumes bothers me. And I don't like to stand out in the freezing cold. So, your dad always puts gas in my car. Your dad grocery shops, and I cook. Your dad mows the grass, and I clean. I could go on and on.'"
"'You see,' my mother continued, 'in marriage, there is no scorecard. You do little things for each other to make the other's life easier. If you think of it as helping the person you love, you don't become annoyed with doing the laundry or cooking, or any task, because you're doing it out of love.'"
"Over the years, I have often reflected on what my mom said. She has a great perspective on marriage. I like how my mom and dad take care of each other. And you know what? One day, when I'm married, I don't want to have a scorecard either."
Todd was unusually quiet the rest of the way home. After he shut off the engine, he turned to me and took my hands in his with a warm smile and a twinkle in his eye.
"Anytime you want," he said in a soft voice, " I'll pump gas for you."
电影结束后，大家开始天南海北地闲聊起来。看着温暖的炉火和闪闪烁烁的圣诞节彩灯，听着家人们的欢声笑语，我不禁惬意地微笑着。这时，妈妈突然说："你们有谁想……"她的话还没说完，房间里立刻就变得空空荡荡的，简直比足球比赛踢输了时的体育场看台空得还快。
房间里只剩下我和我的男友托德了。他一脸迷惑地问我刚才发生了什么事。看着妈妈脸上的笑容，我对托德说："我们要去为妈妈的汽车加油了。"
他立刻惊叫起来："现在外面天寒地冻的，而且都已经是夜里11:30了啊！"我微笑着说："那你最好穿上外套，戴上手套吧。"
我们三下五除二地刮掉汽车挡风玻璃上的霜冻，然后就迫不及待地钻进汽车里。在前往加油站的路上，托德好奇地问我，这么晚了，我们还要去给妈妈的汽车加油，究竟是为什么呢？我吃吃地的笑道："每逢我和我的兄弟姐妹们回家过节的时候，我们都要替爸爸为妈妈的汽车加油。后来，这就变成了我们之间的一个游戏了。其实，我们都知道妈妈会在什么时候问我们，但是，最后还待在房间里的那个人，就必须要去为妈妈的汽车加油了。"
"你不会是在骗我吧？"托德问道。
"真的，我没骗你，"我说。
在给汽车加油的时候，我们俩搓着手，蹦过来跳过去地取暖。"我还是不明白，为什么你妈妈不自己来加油呢？"托德追问道。
我笑着说："我知道这听起来确实有点儿不可思议，但是你听过我的解释就明白了。我妈妈自己不去加油都已经20年了。这20年来，一直都是我爸爸在为她的汽车加油。"托德疑惑地看着我问道，我爸爸是否对总要去给妈妈的汽车加油感到烦恼了呢？我连忙摇摇头，简短地说："没有，他从没有抱怨过。"
"哦，那真是不可思议！"托德还是不相信。
"不，一点儿也不，"我耐心地向他解释道，"记得在我大学二年级那年回家度假的时候，我自认为已经无所不知了，尤其是对于男女的不平等的现象可谓是深恶痛绝。有天晚上，我和妈妈正在包裹礼物，我对妈妈说，将来我结婚以后，我一定要让我的丈夫帮着做家务，什么打扫卫生啦、洗熨衣物啦、做饭啦，等等。接着，我问妈妈是否对整日洗熨衣物、刷锅洗碗感到厌倦，她却平静地对我说她从来都没有感到厌烦。这简直让我难以置信。于是，我开始向她大谈特谈什么如今已是20世纪90年代了，什么两性平等啦等等。"
"妈妈耐心地听着我高谈阔论。在礼物的包裹上系上丝带，然后她注视着我的眼睛说：'亲爱的，将来你会明白的。'"
"这不禁令我非常生气。我一点儿也不明白！于是，我要求妈妈为我进一步做些解释。妈妈笑着解释道：
"'在婚姻生活中，总有些事情是你喜欢做的，有些是你不喜欢做的。因此，夫妻二人一定要互相交流，看看有哪些事情是你愿意为对方做的。此外，夫妻二人要共同分担责任。我真的从来都没有在意过洗熨衣物等家务事。当然，做这些琐事确实花了我不少时间，但是，这是为你爸爸做的。反过来说，我不喜欢去给汽车加油，那种难闻的味道着实让我难以承受，而且我也不喜欢站在寒冷的车外等着加油。所以，总是你爸爸去为我的汽车加油。还有，你爸爸负责到杂货店买东西，我负责做饭；你爸爸负责割草，而我就负责清理。当然，还有很多这样的事。'"
"'你知道吗？'妈妈继续语重心长地说，'在婚姻生活中，是不需要计分卡的。夫妻二人各自为对方做了一些力所能及的事可以让彼此的生活更加舒适，更加从容。只要你想到这是帮你的爱人做的，你就不会再在意这些洗熨衣物、烧菜做饭等等家务事，或是其他的一些事情，因为你这么做完全是因为爱啊！'"
"这么多年来，我一直都在思考着妈妈说过的那些话。关于婚姻生活，她的观点确实非常有意义。我喜欢妈妈和爸爸的这种互相关怀，互相照顾的方式。你知道吗，托德，将来我结婚以后，我也不想在夫妻之间有计分卡?quot;
在回家的路上，托德显得异乎寻常地安静。回到家后，托德熄灭了发动机，转过身，抓住我的双手，他的脸上洋溢着温柔的笑容，眼睛里闪烁着激动的光彩。
"只要你愿意，"他温柔地说，"我愿意永远为你加油！"更多精彩文章及讨论，请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net