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原文第四句:After she was 4-year-old, ...中的 After 的问题探讨:

原文第四句:After she was 4-year-old, she started to stay in the kindergarten all the time.问题多,englearner(英学妹妹)已经解决了大部分,但她还说"After she was 4... 用在这象中文思维",——这是很有语感的表现,她可能是忘记改这个After了。 -softface(探长); 14:44 (#8940207@0) reply more
4 years old的区间是一年,After是用于从某个事件或某个时间(可大可小)节点之后的一段(开区间)的时间,after she was four就是after the age of four就是after the year of her age of four,那就是5岁才去幼稚园,那就干脆说At the age of five好了; -softface(探长); 14:45 (#8940210@0) reply more
When是在某一段时间之时或之后或某一事件(发生)之时或之后,所以,用When就比用After好; 最贴切的而又有所变化的,还是用At the age of four这种较为“模糊的”表达, -softface(探长); 14:45 (#8940211@0) reply more
意思是,入读幼稚园的时间可以是4岁中的任何时候(When she was four也是不涉及具体时间的4岁时),而Englearner改成的After she turned four...是“在她刚刚满4周岁(那一天)后,就被送入...”
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  • 工作学习 / 外语学习 / Love Story
    • 自己曾经的一段经历,但是不觉得苦,觉得很踏实。只是现在回头看看周围,才知道自己当初的坚持是多么的不易,收获又是多么的丰硕,选在今天分享在这里。。欢迎网友真诚的意见。
      • 呵呵,真诚,真敢说啊。
        • ???我自己的经历,我不能说吗?
        • 文章放在这里,做人也不是一天两天,!大家自己判断。
          • 这和中谭那个一样啊
            • 自己十年的经历,为了自己2 个节日的2个版本。
              • 还换一ID,多让人误会呀。。。
                • 啥误会呀。那是真实的写照。
                • 一个故事,2个版本,用2个ID,,谁都能看出来时一个人写的。至于误会吗?本想一个I.D. 分别保存不同的文章,结果象被人抓了宝一样。不明白
              • 故事挺好,为什么换ID啊?尤其,为啥去点炸药桶?
                • 深受客里空式的高大上之害,为了突出她自己就把坛友全斥为插科打诨。
                  • 别挑拨离间了,别的论坛每天都有多篇精华文章,这里就几个人每天几句闲话,清闲的很。好几个月了,你自己看不到吗?
                • 一个故事,2个版本,用2个I.D.写,谁都能看出是一个人写的。至于那么激动吗?本想不同的I.D. 收录不同的文章,现在又想合并,现在正好。
    • 楼主这种肯花时间认真写文章的精神值得鼓励。
      • 但是,楼主的学习态度可能要稍微调整一哈。君不见,englearner给她真诚的意见基本上都被她挡回去了。
        • 你代表我吗?我尊重真正热心的人。
          • 谁要去代表你?唯有你自己的马甲给自己自吹。
        • 你不是还从人家的建议中学了点嘛?还是 那就是你的马甲?
          • 你看谁都是马甲?你自己用马甲给自己吹喇叭,就以为别人也跟你一样要那么做?! -
    • 既然又贴出来了,那我真诚地说一下。挺好的故事。有积极感人的一面。文法上虽然有些错误,作者基本语法还是掌握得不错的。从英文写作的角度看,
      本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛这篇句法简单,缺乏变化,谴词造句有待打磨。中文思维痕迹明显。表达上甚至似乎有些比较生硬的直译。

      简单看第一段。

      -----Her parents loved her very much, but they didn't have time to take care of her. => Her parents loved her very much, but had little time to care for her.
      我不能说你错了。但是我觉得不够地道。
      didn't have time => had little time 细微的差别。take care of 和 care for差不多的意思。平时也常见used interchangeably. 但是我觉得这个文章用care for比较好。细微的差别。

      -----They were too busy with their work and business.
      是指你父母有自己的business吗?还是来自中文的工作和事业?这么问是我觉得几十年前有自己的business是比较罕见的事。不排除我孤陋寡闻。如果确实,当我没说。否则是否该写成:
      They were too busy with their work and career.

      -----After she was 4-year-old, she started to stay in the kindergarten all the time => After she turned 4 years old, she was sent to a boarding kindergarten, only going home on weekends.
      这句话有几个问题。比较chinglish.
      1. 4-year-old可以作noun 或 adjective。作noun,要有冠词。
      e.g She is just a 4-year-old. The 4-year-old is drawing (within a context).
      作adjective
      e.g She is a 4-year-old girl.

      2. After she was (a) 4-year-old (After she was 4 years old)
      After she was ... 用在这象中文思维

      3. she started to stay in the kindergarten all the time.
      a.什么叫stay in the kindergarten all the time?是指周末才回家的全托?这种说法不地道,而且confusing.
      b.She started. 且不说4岁孩子做不了这个主,就是让她做,联系下文,这也不是她的主观选择,这种句法完全不能表达她的被动无奈


      4. only going home on weekends这一句加不加,看audience. 好处在于如果audience不了解的话,提供更多信息,区别于那种一个月才回一次的,而且承接下文she missed her parents.


      -----She took all suggestions from her parents and teachers, followed all instructions, and made all the efforts to be a good child. =>She listened to her parents and teachers, followed all instructions and rules, and tried her best to be a good child.
      稍显生硬。用简单说法即可。



      -----In her little heart, making trouble to her parents was the last thing to do => In her little heart, making trouble for parents was the last thing to do.
      "making trouble for parents"是general的行为指代. 读起来更顺畅. 不同意的话,至少介词要改。

      -----she wanted her parents to focus their valuable time on their work and family,
      4,5岁的孩子觉悟这么高?还能want父母focus on 工作?当然你写的是你自己,你觉得是就是。我的看法这个表述不准确。

      而且这话看起来好熟悉。"把宝贵的时间用在工作和家庭"。中译英?

      还有,逻辑上,连孩子都没时间管,什么叫focus on ... work and family? 你不就是family最重要的一部分?

      连睬带蒙:
      She understood that parents had to focus on their work and provide for the family.

      -----She made that! She was always a perfect child. => And she did just that! She had always been a perfect child.

      ----------------------
      尊重你的版权,尽量不大改。俺也是在学习。意见不同没有关系。

      She was born in a middle-class family in China. Her parents loved her very much, but had little time to care for her. They were too busy with their work and career. After she turned 4 years old, she was sent to a boarding kindergarten, only going home on weekends.

      She missed her parents, and she wanted to please them. She listened to her parents and teachers, followed all instructions and rules, and tried her best to be a good child. In her little heart, making trouble for parents was the last thing to do. She understood that her parents had to focus on their work and provide for the family. She wanted them to be happy. And she did just that! She had always been a perfect child.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
      • You are wonderful!
      • 很遗憾,英学妹妹,你违法新版规了!请看:【Reminder】: Please do not comment on posts regarding mistakes or errors, unless you are invited. 8.13 13:32 (#8928347@0)
        • 她不是"欢迎网友真诚的意见"吗?我我觉得我挺真诚啊。
          • 你当然真诚。可是版有版规啊!
            真是让人想不明白啊!这是一个外语学习的分坛,不让指出语句的错误,怎么相互交流共同提高啊? 那就会变成让满屏的错误在翩翩起舞。 -softface(探长); 18:37 (#8936839@0)
            • 我还以为"欢迎网友真诚的意见"就是invite大家呢?又理解错了?
              不然在外坛欢迎什么意见?

              可怜我码的字。。如遭不幸,请安息。。
              • 你的理解没错,和那条新规定不矛盾。
      • 非常感谢你的建议,很好。这个故事是在两人交谈中产生的,开始就是从口语的角度落笔的,以“讲”达到“懂”的目的,遣词造句极可能不周。我的回答如下:
        本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛谢谢你的建议,很好。很高兴有网友花时间读了。这个故事是在两人交谈中产生的,开始就是从口语的角度落笔的,以“讲”达到“懂”的目的,遣词造句极可能不周。我的回答如下:
        我的回答如下:

        1- didn't have time & had little time 我用前者,本意是想要强调父母时间少,无法分配时间给孩子。你的建议也不错。
        2- They were too busy with their work and business. 文章的意思是父母一个在科里,一个有自己的生意—(本文无意谈论父母的工作)
        3- -----After she was 4-year-old, she started to stay in the kindergarten all the time
        =》turned 4 year old 好,更常用。
        =》stay in the kindergarten all the time – 中国式的全托,我们小时候的流行,周日回家。这可能和这里的kindergarten 不同。这点我很同意你说的“说法不地道”。 你改的 “she was sent to a boarding kindergarten” is much better,

        4- she wanted her parents to focus their valuable time on their work and family,
        (你的意见:5岁的孩子觉悟这么高?还能want父母focus on 工作?当然你写的是你自己,你觉得是就是。我的看法这个表述不准确。)
        回答:半开玩笑也是实话,如果你有一个4-year-old的孩子,就知道她会记住父母的每一句话,而且喜欢当成自己的意见重复 。这句确实要改,我本意其实想说: --She wanted her parents to focus their valuable time on their work and leisure.
        -Making trouble for her parents 好!

        5. take care of her V.S. care for her 我用前者,因为 take care 有 watch over 和 be responsible for的意思,更适用在小孩身上;care for -似乎更强调意愿,偏好?


        再次感谢您的宝贵时间和回帖。更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net
        • 还是真人真事啊!
      • 原文第四句:After she was 4-year-old, ...中的 After 的问题探讨:
        原文第四句:After she was 4-year-old, she started to stay in the kindergarten all the time.问题多,englearner(英学妹妹)已经解决了大部分,但她还说"After she was 4... 用在这象中文思维",——这是很有语感的表现,她可能是忘记改这个After了。 -softface(探长); 14:44 (#8940207@0) reply more
        4 years old的区间是一年,After是用于从某个事件或某个时间(可大可小)节点之后的一段(开区间)的时间,after she was four就是after the age of four就是after the year of her age of four,那就是5岁才去幼稚园,那就干脆说At the age of five好了; -softface(探长); 14:45 (#8940210@0) reply more
        When是在某一段时间之时或之后或某一事件(发生)之时或之后,所以,用When就比用After好; 最贴切的而又有所变化的,还是用At the age of four这种较为“模糊的”表达, -softface(探长); 14:45 (#8940211@0) reply more
        意思是,入读幼稚园的时间可以是4岁中的任何时候(When she was four也是不涉及具体时间的4岁时),而Englearner改成的After she turned four...是“在她刚刚满4周岁(那一天)后,就被送入...”
        • 修改:
          原文第四句:After she was 4-year-old, she started to stay in the kindergarten all the time.

          问题多,englearner(英学妹妹)已经解决了大部分,她还说"After she was 4... 用在这象中文思维",——这是很有语感的表现,但她可能是忘记改这个After了。

          4 years old的区间是一年,After是用于从某个事件或某个时间(可大可小)节点之后的一段(开区间)的时间,after she was four就是after the age of four就是after the year of her age of four,那就是5岁才去幼稚园,那就干脆说At the age of five好了;When是在某一段时间之时或之后或某一事件(发生)之时或之后,所以,用When就比用After好; 而Englearner改成的After she turned four...是“在她刚刚满4周岁(那一天)后,就被送入...” 。

          其实,最贴切的而又有所变化的,还是用At the age of four这种较为“模糊的”表达,意思是,入读幼稚园的时间可以是4岁中的任何时候(When she was four也是不涉及具体时间的4岁时)。
      • 评价衷肯,值得一看
    • 原文第二句:Her parents loved her very much, but they didn't have time to take care of her.
      • 中文大意是 "她父母虽然很爱她,但是却丝毫没有时间去照料她。" 初次看到这里,俺还以为又是一个要把刚刚出生的孩子送人的《贺梅的故事》的加拿大版本呢!】
    • 原文第3句:They were too busy with their own work and business.
      • their own这两个词很要命,凸显其父母一个为了工作和一个为了生意而根本不顾孩子,建议去掉。那么是谁在照顾这个newborn(0-3个月的新生儿)、infant(3-12个月婴儿/(或7岁以下))、toddler(1-4岁)呢?爷爷奶奶?姥爷姥姥?保姆?不稍微交代一下就会显得很突兀。
        • 这篇文章看完,似乎是成年人的经历,小学生的文笔。但是,还是真情写照吧!
        • 你是不是有“窥探”癖啊?这种明显找事儿的帖子是不是一个病人才有的?
          • 神马找事?!你不是真诚的叫大家帮忙你纠错的嘛?! 到底谁病了?
          • 咱们要像汤唯学,敢脱就不怕让人看!:-)
            想成名是不容易的,是吧?
            • 你和SOFTFACE 同出没啊!
    • 修改重贴:原文的第一句:She was born in a middle-class family in China.
      • 全文从头She到尾,总共20个she、26个her,但就愣是没有女主人公的名字!楼主应当不是在写一个无名之辈吧。英语里的故事,就连宠物阿猫阿狗都有好听的名字呢!俺姑且把She叫做Joan Doe吧!
        • 楼主不是在 (#8936356@0) 说会满足 5个W+1个H 吗 ?故事发生在哪一个年代?—— 5个W中的 When 被丢到太平洋去了喽!
          • 鉴于楼主文中所说的,先是在中国读大学,工作几年,后又在移加,拿学位(一人学士,另一人硕士),第7年买房,后又生了两个孩子等等来推断,年龄在40岁以上。所以,建议加上 【时间状语】Over 40 years ago 。
            • 44岁, (1970, 09,29)
    • She...She...She...从头She到尾,总共20个she(还有26个her),可就愣是没有女主人公 “她”的名字! 英语里的故事,就连宠物阿猫阿狗都有好听的名字呢。随便叫一个 Sabrina 啥的也好啊。
      • 就叫 FIONA 吧
    • 写得不错, 赞一个。
      • 有很多地方值得商榷的。 -wrongway(歧途); 21:33 (#8943271@0) ?
        • 呵呵,标准不一样。你是大师,标准要高。
          • 俺跟“大师”不沾边。
        • 这篇故事就如“逆流而上”,在某些人看来是歧途,不过生活事实就是这样的。
    • Great writing, sounds like you two are among the most successful couples.
      • 革命还在继续。。。
    • 本人作为一个赋闲在家5年的2娃妈,脱离英语环境有些日子了。平时大部分时间都忙着一些陪伴记录孩子生活和家庭琐碎上了,别说英语学习就是看新闻八卦的时间都排在11点以后。不过这两年参加过几个培训班,成绩都在同学中属于上乘。原来也拿过几项金融证书,成绩也都不错。
      • 转风向了?
    • 这些年写的文章多数是中文,因为想要分享自己的感情故事,所以写出来,不想有人不爱看。没关系,帖子里有意无意的批评,本人表示感谢接纳,还将继续学习英语,分享自己的故事,心得,体会。不过本人时间有限,不喜欢灌水,请马褂SOFTFACE(探长)以后不要跟帖了。
      本人与你 “道不同,不相与谋。”