本文发表在 rolia.net 枫下论坛Further Advice
Hi. There.
First, I am not in a position, and other posters as well, to judge whether you rely on any social assistance. How you manage your finance and your lifestyle is your freedom and none of everyone's business. I wish my fellow peers would stop questioning you. What you need is support and advice from us.
However, this is the Canadian value that children are vulnerable and cannot protect themselves, so state intervention is necessary. You said you did not abuse your child, which can be arguably right, but in Canada, the focus is on parental ability to protect. A parent may never abuse his or her child, but if the parent cannot provide a safe environment to the child, state intervention is a must.
You withheld a very important piece of information. According to a Chinese newspaper this morning, you have criminal court hearding scheduled for November 23. If this is correct, you were investigated. Were you charged with Assault, Assault Causing Bodily Harm or Assault with a Weapon? Were you released on an undertaking or a bail? With or without conditions?
Again, it is not my role to judge. My only agenda is to provide my advice to support and help you.
Let me predict what will happen to you:
1. For the criminal charge or charges, make sure you observe the conditions, and dont breach them; otherwise you will be arrested, tossed in jail and further charged. Usually, a case like this will come with a no contact order, which means you can't see your child unless approved and/or supervised by CAS. This condition is a major barrier against reunion. We will have to do something like counseling, anger management and parenting education in order to apply to court to have this condition lifted; otherwise the child cannot return. If you plead guilty, this condition will become void, though there may be further conditions in probation, if any.
What will happen to your criminal charge? That depends on the extent of your child's injury. In most cases when a child suffers from mild injury, the parent who inflicted the harm, will receive either a conditional discharge (with evidence of progress of counseling) or a probation sentence (with conditions and recommendations for counseling). Only under extreme circumstances a parent will be jailed, but I have seen it.
2. For your CFSA hearing (yes, you have 2 court cases, which is confusing to a lot of new immigrants), Toronto CAS will have to prove based on balance of probabilities that you cannot protect your child who is at risk in your care. You have to prove you have adequate parenting abilities that your son will not be at risk. Given your criminal hearing remains outstanding, your CFSA hearing may drag on for months. Toronto CAS is asking for an order of Interim Care and Custody and if the court finds the child in need of protection, then a Society Wardship order will be granted. The maximum time allowed is 12 months for those under 6 and 24 months for over 6, from the date of apprehension; otherwise, the child will become a Crown Ward. Though CFSA will change effective November 30 this year and it will become more lenient, it is more difficult to ask your child back after Crown Wardship.
I gave you some advice yesterday, but given the new piece of information (criminal charge), I would like to modify my advice:
1. Stop all complaint procedures. A client cannot complain if there is a court hearing outstanding. The rationale is not to influence the hearing. You can complain about the health condition, however, given the media attention now, your son must have seen a doctor already. In my 20 years of experience, in most circumstances, children are well looked after physically by CAS. Emotionally, it is another ball game. CAS can never replace a parent to meet a child's emotional needs.
2. Go for counseling, anger management and child management training. I would recommend Chinese Family Life Services or if you speak English well enough, Elizabeth Fry Society. Learn something for your own good and as evidence for your court cases. If you have done these and get good progress, you stand a good chance getting a conditional discharge and your child to return to you.
3. If you find a friend or a relative the child knows to care for him, propose a kin service or kin care plan. Toronto CAS is obliged to response within 30 days. How to develop a kin plan requires good skills and knowledge, so plan well with social support, before proceeding.
4. Do you feel stressed or mentally disturbed because of the mishap in the past few years? If so, you should consider a psychiatric assessment and treatment. Go to Hong Fook, which is a good agency.
5. You need 2 lawyers, one of criminal court and the other for CFSA court. You can apply for legal aid. Very few Chinese lawyers specialize in child welfare. I have dealt with some of them who don't know how to manage a child welfare case, which a waste of money and time and may jeopardize your case.
6. Ask the CFSA court to appoint a lawyer to represent your son. The court may reject the request because your son is too young and may not be able to express his wishes. In Ontario, child over 12 is considered a legal party and under 12 not ready to express independently.
7. Ask for visit. Usually, CAS will allow supervised visit and then move up to unsupervised visit, before weekend overnight will happen. This will take a while because they are observing you and your mental stability and parenting capacity. Don't argue with them. Spend the time with your child. Feed him with Chinese food and play card games with him during visit. If you can't organize a visit, how can they trust you to organize your life?
8. The last and not least, a crisis is also an opportunity. Let go the past. Seek help for yourself and your son. You still have a long way to go. If Canada is not the place for you, go back to China (no big deal). If Canada is good for your son's development and future, be brave, and stay against all odds. We being Chinese will give you help and support unconditionally.
The last question is about your son. Does he have any behavioural problem or any special needs? This may affect your strategy.
One more time: good luck and all the best.更多精彩文章及讨论,请光临枫下论坛 rolia.net